It may have been the day that Paris-Roubaix was being contested, but Harpo's route today gave more of a nod to Liege-Baston-Liege, packing in one steep testing climb after another with no recovery in between. Almost as testing as the cumulative elevation and the gradients was the biting Easterly which made the 4 degrees ambient temperature feel more like minus 4. Unless your name is Dave Walters who turned up in short sleeves and track mitts (ignoring the Velominati rule about ratio of arm covering to leg covering) - they make them tough in Pontycymmer. To add to the spice, this was also the inaugural pacers KoM competition. Harpo had devised a complex points schedule for each of the categorised climbs (only he really understood it), and had donated a polka dot jersey to be presented to the winner. We were assured it was freshly laundered, but nobody missed the fact that it spent the duration of the ride in Harpo's back pocket adsorbing the by-products of his exertions - #aromatic.
Eight set off on the attritional route - Harpo, Chappers, hard-man Dave, Paul Rosser, Reece, Nigel, Gregg and I. On the first categorised climb of Pentyla Farm, Chappers immediately displayed his form, and his tactics - early attack and then hang on. He took the points over harpo, with me third at some distance back. Rumours that I wasn't really trying I can
definitely confirm
. The same tactic was employed on Shwt to the same effect - ditto Llangeinor (although I managed 2nd on that one). ARguably the toughest climb on paper, Cefn Carfan, came next. Chappers inexplicably declined to compete on this, with harpo and I neck and neck until about two thirds of the way up when he eased clear. Harpo then announce that this climb was worth 15 points, but this was revised after a stewards enquiry. Speculation was rife about Chapmans disappearance, but he strenuously denied dropping off the back to collect a jiffy bag.
His tactics paid dividends, as he hoovered up maximum points on the next climbs up to the windmills on Mynnydd-y-Gaer, Gilfach Goch and Trebanog (via Tonyrefail). To everyone's delight, Harpo proposed that we take declare an end to the race, and take a short-cut to Llantrisant and coffee at this point. Ther was no dissent.
Costa saw the official presentation of the
maillot a pois to Chappers to the rapturous indifference of the other customers. 'I feel like Alafillipe' said the usually impeccably Rapha-dressed rider, although truthfully he looked more like Coco the clown.
At this point I left to bathe my screaming legs in cold water, and left the magnificent seven to enjoy what was no doubt a screaming tail-wind assisted smash-fest back to Bridgend, no doubt accumulating some PRs and leaderboard trophies on the way. Sadly, nobody respects any of the trophies on that section of flat road, especially when garnered as part of a group ride. #justsaying.
Great ride - really enjoyed it. I must also declare that I wrote this in return for coffee and cake from the patron of our peleton. Hats off to Harpo*
*
Hoping some Led Zep fans get that reference. Even better if they are also Roy Harper fans.
