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Months I'd waited for this opportunity. Months.

Cobalt-blue sky, barely perceptible NE wind, bone dry roads - and the rugby season over! Harpo, Mark R, Greg, Paul R, Chappers and I were the pacers, and we headed north to the hills. First up, Llangeinor, and we all stayed together (pretty much) with Mark R setting a stiff pace to soften the legs a bit. Greg feeling a bit rough, but soon back on. Bwlch next. I did my usual thing of hanging off the back before hitting the clocktower hill at Pricetown, and then used the group ahead to slingshot up and away like Simon Yates. I felt great - I stuck two fingers up to the virus that's been plaguing me all week, and was certain I was dishing out pain to the group behind (too cool to look back obv.) But just before leaving Nant-y-Moel, by mnemesis appeared. He may have looked like your average elderly, hard of thinking, overweight, visually impaired Sunday driver cruising aimlessly between garden centres in his pseudo-SUV, filling in time before a circulatory disease take him off the road for good. Indeed, I passed on those observations as he stopped in the middle of the road to engage in an altercation with another, similar driver going the other way. Both were equally critical of the other's limited spacial awareness. But I was wrong. He was actually a wizard, and he cursed me, using an incomprehensible spell of foul-language and violent gestures. There is no other explanation for my ensuing physical collapse.

The group I'd left for dead arrived just after the spell was cast, laughing at me sympathetically. I decided to get back to the business of ripping everyone's legs off. It took around 2 minutes to wheezingly change my mind as they cruised effortlessly past - still laughing. Harpo and Chappers climbing well is no surprise - Mark R had definitely brought his climbing legs out today, and Paul R brought his Liege-Bastogne-Liege form to the party.

We overlapped with the chasers, and Chris G joined us from the foot of the Bwlch onto the Rhigos. Harpo, Chappers and Mark headed off into the distance, Paul R and Chris G taking the middle ground, and Greg and I ambled and chatted, several minutes behind, as the spell continued to prevent my legs and lungs from working.

We re-grouped at the top, but at Hirwaun, Chris G and I headed south to the Cynon valley, leaving the pros to down then up towards Seven Sisters.

Bradleys for coffee in the sun and a chat, an I fantasized about a taxi ride home - properly cursed by now. The next best alternative happened, which was being towed home on the back roads by Chris, and having a good chat on the way (when I wasn't coughing).

I'm not sure how the others got on at Seven Sisters, so they'll have to write their own chapter.

Did I mention I was ill  ?

I won't be poring over my Strava stats today, that's for sure.

Hope to join you next week if the spell has worn off.

It may have been the day that Paris-Roubaix was being contested, but Harpo's route today gave more of a nod to Liege-Baston-Liege, packing in one steep testing climb after another with no recovery in between. Almost as testing as the cumulative elevation and the gradients was the biting Easterly which made the 4 degrees ambient temperature feel more like minus 4. Unless your name is Dave Walters who turned up in short sleeves and track mitts (ignoring the Velominati rule about ratio of arm covering to leg covering) - they make them tough in Pontycymmer. To add to the spice, this was also the inaugural pacers KoM competition. Harpo had devised a complex points schedule for each of the categorised climbs (only he really understood it), and had donated a polka dot jersey to be presented to the winner. We were assured it was freshly laundered, but nobody missed the fact that it spent the duration of the ride in Harpo's back pocket adsorbing the by-products of his exertions - #aromatic.

Eight set off on the attritional route - Harpo, Chappers, hard-man Dave, Paul Rosser, Reece, Nigel, Gregg and I. On the first categorised climb of Pentyla Farm, Chappers immediately displayed his form, and his tactics - early attack and then hang on. He took the points over harpo, with me third at some distance back. Rumours that I wasn't really trying I can definitely confirm  . The same tactic was employed on Shwt to the same effect - ditto Llangeinor (although I managed 2nd on that one). ARguably the toughest climb on paper, Cefn Carfan, came next. Chappers inexplicably declined to compete on this, with harpo and I neck and neck until about two thirds of the way up when he eased clear. Harpo then announce that this climb was worth 15 points, but this was revised after a stewards enquiry. Speculation was rife about Chapmans disappearance, but he strenuously denied dropping off the back to collect a jiffy bag.
His tactics paid dividends, as he hoovered up maximum points on the next climbs up to the windmills on Mynnydd-y-Gaer, Gilfach Goch and Trebanog (via Tonyrefail). To everyone's delight, Harpo proposed that we take declare an end to the race, and take a short-cut to Llantrisant and coffee at this point. Ther was no dissent.

Costa saw the official presentation of the maillot a pois to Chappers to the rapturous indifference of the other customers. 'I feel like Alafillipe' said the usually impeccably Rapha-dressed rider, although truthfully he looked more like Coco the clown.
At this point I left to bathe my screaming legs in cold water, and left the magnificent seven to enjoy what was no doubt a screaming tail-wind assisted smash-fest back to Bridgend, no doubt accumulating some PRs and leaderboard trophies on the way. Sadly, nobody respects any of the trophies on that section of flat road, especially when garnered as part of a group ride. #justsaying.

Great ride - really enjoyed it. I must also declare that I wrote this in return for coffee and cake from the patron of our peleton. Hats off to Harpo*

*Hoping some Led Zep fans get that reference. Even better if they are also Roy Harper fans.

7863 miles 

Here's my suggested ride for tomorrow.

https://www.strava.com/routes/15129060

I'll be at the B&Q roundabout at 9am. Tailwind anticipated up Cimla and Bwlch. Coffee in Cowbridge to finish - whichever cafe we can get a seat at.

All this depends on not having last-minute unexpected Dad taxi duties. If you plan to join me, PM me your mobile numbers so I can let you know if there's a last minute change (although I'll also post here if I have to change).

I'll be out - like the sound of that route. I'll be looking to stay in the green zone on the hills as usual, which will be difficult with all you Alpine goats - take it easy on me 

Looks like a great route. I'll be out provided I'm not up all night at work. I'll meet you as you come through Miskin at about 9.25 I'd guess. I'll only come if harpo goes easy on the hills though 

Strava detective work says the two guys who worked with us from Tredegar to Ystrad Mynach were Pete Belby (the tall one) and Matt Joy - strong riders.

Looks nice - I'll plan to be there - I'll meet you at the traffic lights by Leekes. Take it easy on the hills though Harpo